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All reviews - Movies (20) - TV Shows (1)

The Last House on the Left review

Posted : 12 years, 5 months ago on 20 April 2010 06:50 (A review of The Last House on the Left)

Cliche. The corniest final scene I've seen in a while. I watched this movie because it was on the list of films that disturbed quite a few people. Perhaps they were talking about the original because I was a bit disappointed by this one. I gave it 6 stars for the revenge. As much as I wanted to scream MICROWAVES DON'T WORK WITH THE DOOR OPEN!!!!" I have to admit that the antagonists of this one got every last thing that they deserved.

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Paranormal Activity review

Posted : 12 years, 5 months ago on 20 April 2010 06:46 (A review of Paranormal Activity)

There is a definite eerie factor. I wouldn't advise watching this one alone at night. Still, the hype about this movie being the scariest film ever is...well...bull. The movie recieves six stars because there were about four scenes that made me pull my feet up...just in case--but for the most part, this one was just another addition to the mock reality horror trend. At least there were no media attempts (that I know of) to try to make people believe that this one really happened. I'll give them props for the minimalist film-making and the teeny-tiny budget. It was entertaining, but the ending is another corny, cliche that had me wondering why there are so many people that go home and turn on all their lights after this one. Another movie that left me wishing that the writer hadn't gotten tired of writing ten minutes before the end. Damn.

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17 Again review

Posted : 12 years, 5 months ago on 20 April 2010 06:44 (A review of 17 Again)

I'm ashamed to admit it, but this one is going to have to go into my guilty pleasure files. As much as I hated High School Musical and really REALLY wanted to hate Zac Efron...I liked this one! The little boy pop star did a formidable job, and pulled it off, and the movie left me with a smile. A happy ending is never a bad thing. It gets eight stars and we shall never speak of this again!

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The Uninvited review

Posted : 12 years, 5 months ago on 20 April 2010 06:41 (A review of The Uninvited)

Not at all what I expected. This film is advertised as a horror movie, but at best it is a poorly written murder mystery. I can't understand why they even bothered to include ghosts in this film unless it was to include a few special effects to try to make up for the creation of four or five unneeded characters. I think I've seen this one about six times under a different name. Not impressed at all.

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How to Be review

Posted : 12 years, 5 months ago on 20 April 2010 06:40 (A review of How to Be)

When they say dry humor, they mean Sahara in a dry season. This movie was slow, awkward, and just not funny. Not entertaining at all actually. It holds no real redeeming qualities--a spoiled rotten Brit complaining about his practically non-existant problems for an hour and a half. If I want to see that, I visit my brother.

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Y Tu Mamá También review

Posted : 12 years, 5 months ago on 11 April 2010 11:12 (A review of Y Tu Mamá También)

Eight stars not for the interminable number of shallow, sex-obsessed situations that two spoiled rotten boys find themselves in, but for the underlying message that wherever the three protagonists go, we are constantly reminded that there is something out there that is bigger than all of their petty problems. This film is better watched ignoring the suface plot and catching what you can from everything that occurs around them...then it becomes tragically beautiful.

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2012 review

Posted : 12 years, 5 months ago on 11 April 2010 09:50 (A review of 2012)

Let's be honest...this movie was worth the three dollar rental fee if only to watch California fall off the face of the earth. Any movie that can show me the subsequent elimination of California, Vegas, and almost every politician gets at least sixe stars in my book.

As far as the plot line...well, who actually rented this one for the interesting story? 2012 is stocked full of amazing special effects and about a million edge-of-your-seat moments that make you want to just get to the happy ending already!

For those more detail oriented people that will feel the urge to ask questions (such as, "How is it that everyone speaks American English everywhere on the face of the planet?" or "Just exactly how slow does the largest pyroclastic flow in history take to travel 100 yards?") it may do some good to simply put your brain on pause for this one and look at the pretty apocalypse.

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Little Ashes review

Posted : 12 years, 5 months ago on 11 April 2010 09:45 (A review of Little Ashes)

Awkward and tragic. I love the idea of creating a film documenting the time and the lives of these three artists who were so coincidentally placed in the same moment in time and tragedy in the same school in Madrid. Unfortunately, this was not exactly the film I had hoped for.

I must admit that I was going for four stars in the beginning. Pattinson is horrifically cast, and I found myself wondering if they could find a Spanish actor for Garcia Lorca, why in the world could they not find one that could at least pull off a believable Spanish accent for Dali. I also am certain that this film should have been in Spanish. I cringed every time Garcia Lorca's words were dubbed over in English. Still, it was a portrayal of the life and times of two very great artists, and my fascination over the tragic death of Garcia Lorca impells me to love this film.

It had me crying by the end, and that in itself is worth the eight stars I'm giving it. Here's hoping that the next one is in Castellano and focused on the horror developing in Spain at the time.

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3:10 to Yuma review

Posted : 12 years, 5 months ago on 11 April 2010 09:31 (A review of 3:10 to Yuma)

Perfect cast. Perfect villains. Perfect good guy, and a tag along kid that you just want to hit. I usually love Christian Bale, and Russell Crow has never been too bad either, but what sold me on this movie was one of my favorite new villains, the creepy silent sidekick played by Ben Foster. His persistence throughout the movie had me on the edge of my seat wondering why in the heck they couldn't just take him out, and then his loyalty in the end and the strange twist it takes had me mourning more for him than for the protagonist. Any movie that has me routing for the bad guy in the end gets ten stars in my book!

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The Twilight Saga: New Moon review

Posted : 12 years, 5 months ago on 11 April 2010 09:27 (A review of The Twilight Saga: New Moon)

Seriously people. Who hired this girl as an actor? At best, Kristen Stewart could be a fairly talented pot smoker. As a semi-obsessed lover of the books, I am always tempted to give these movies my ten star approval, but I just couldn't get past how absolutely horrible she was. I believe I saw several trees show more emotion than Stewart did! New Moon followed the book incredibly closely with a few exceptions. The director did infinitely better than the one in Twilight, and the special effects were a bit more believable this time around. I liked the movie. I liked Pattinson. I even liked Lautner as the tragically loyal best friend. All in all a success, but Stewart's acting...or lack thereof...will keep me from buying this one.

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